The South Park Game Wiki

Call girl2.png Spoiler Warning!

This article or plot contains spoilers from the actual game. If you do not wish to be spoiled, do not read it.

The Samaritan Agenda is a mission in South Park: The Fractured But Whole.


Back in 1999, Matt and Trey loved playing music for the elderly; now, it's your turn! To prove their sincerity in the Freedom Pals' cause, The New Kid has been sent to assist a volunteer entertainment gig...but their music doesn't quite meet with the elders' expectations. Once they recognize the drug-busting Farting Vigilante, they become hostile in a misguided attempt to protect their medication; run for it before they destroy you!


Doctor Timothy briefing The New Kid on the mission via video call.

After completing both The Invitation and The Chaos Gambit, Doctor Timothy will assign you on a mission to the Shady Acres, Tupperware and Wonder Tweek will be waiting for you there; talk to them and they will guide you into the building. The receptionist will welcome you all and assemble the seniors. You will then have to go on stage to perform music while Tupperware and Wonder Tweek sing for them.

The first part is playing the triangle, press the prompt button to play (Space key for PC by default). The seniors will be displeased by your triangle performance. As a result, Wonder Tweek would have to switch your instrument into a mandolin.

The elderly people yelling in disgust after witnessing The New Kid playing the flugelhorn anally.

The mandolin is quite similar to the triangle; press the prompt button to play (F key for PC by default) to play. Again, the old people will not be impressed by your music, and will order you to get off the stage. After a few tries, the New Kid will be able to fully understand how the instrument works, and play the music perfectly, with a smile on their face, as long as you keep mashing F. This time, without any reaction from the seniors, Wonder Tweek will change your mandolin into a flugelhorn.

The New Kid seemed to be not familiar with the new musical instrument, after some examinations, The New Kid proceeds to stick the flugelhorn up the buttocks and plays it anally. Press the prompt buttons as shown on screen (involving the W, S, A, D and all arrow keys for PC by default); all of the elderly will then yell in disgust. Just keep improvising until the elderly interrupt you with their actions.

Astonished, the elderly will finally figure out that the New Kid is the Farting Vigilante in the news, and be completely enraged by the conclusion that you will be taking their Percocet (drugs). After this, you would have to deal with their rage.

Battle: The Old People

This battle doesn't require defeating every enemy (in fact, there is no way you can defeat them all as they keep coming); instead, you need to get out of the place by moving you and your teammates to the entrance doors. Tupperware, Wonder Tweek, and Professor Chaos will be locked as your party members.

The old people move slowly, usually one or two tiles of the battlefield; but there will be a lot of them blocking your way, so you need to get to the exit by creating a path for yourself. Be wary of the Ol' Bomber especially though, as she can attack from range and cause the Grossed Out status effect.

The escape zone shown on the battlefield during the encounter against the elderly people.

Tupperware's Hot Swap is a nice ability to get out of the fray, as for Wonder Tweek his Supreme Lightning ability is of most use to rack up damage with Shock. Professor Chaos's Chaos Confuse-O-Tron abiity is handy if you can peg a distant senior; they'll usually turn their attacks on their allies instead of you while racking up further Shock damage (best used against Ol' Bomber to turn her attack to her fellow elderly enemies).

Once you've escaped the Senior Center, the mission will be considered complete; you will be rewarded with the Seal of Freedom artifact and the Elder Maw artifact recipe.

After escaping the South Park Senior Center, a cut scene will the play, where Mysterion is shown standing outside awaiting. He will then proceed to page Doctor Timothy, stating that the mission is complete. Doctor Timothy then gives a reply, praising The New Kid, also informing that they will proceed to infiltrate the police station in the night. The remaining Freedom Pals then proceed to leave the area, with Mysterion warning The New Kid not to disclose the information to anyone.

As you make your way, The Coon will then make a video call, praising The New Kid on the effort in secretly obtaining the information from Freedom Pals. He then proceeds to inform all Coon and Friends members to come to the Coon Lair for a briefing on the situation; once the video call ends, the mission will be fully complete.

Boss Fight Video



  • The mission itself roughly matches the Retirement Home Shorts of South Park, featuring Trey and Matt being cruel toward seniors.
    • It could be argued that the seniors are getting their revenge on the characters created by them.
  • Professor Chaos appears as a mandatory Party member despite not having any role in this quest.