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Towelie is a minor character in South Park: The Fractured But Whole.

For Towelie's role in South Park: Phone Destroyer, see Towelie (Phone Destroyer).


Towelie is a light blue towel with white arms and legs, yellow shoes and an anthropomorphic face. In the game, he wears a green apron with pockets on the left and right sides and a logo of a circle with a marijuana leaf inside it.


In South Park: The Fractured But Whole, Towelie works at Medicinal Fried Chicken where he is sober and after explaining his job at MFC, he gets CLASSi's prescription to hand it over to The New Kid and The Coon. However, he notices that the prescription is messed up, which causes him to freak out and start attacking The New Kid and The Coon. They must calm him down by lighting up piles of weed on the shop's floor before Towelie attempts to use his "best attack" on them.

Additionally, on the second night, when The New Kid follows Toolshed to U-Stor-It, Towelie can be seen in the far right area outside Kenny's House giving a blowjob to an older man behind a crate. Throwing a Snap N Pop (which breaks the crate hiding them) will cause the man and Towelie to run away.

For those who pre-ordered South Park: The Fractured But Whole before its release, Towelie will act as their "Gaming Bud" and he will give advice, tips and tutorials throughout the game (though after Medicinal Fried Fiasco he is too high to offer any meaningful advice).


Towelie may seem to be a hard boss at first (he literally has infinite health and is immune to all status effects) and has two Budtenders as backup, but there is a twist to the battle; there are 4 piles of marijuana scattered around the battle grid, and walking on one while the character is inflicted with Burning will cause it to light on fire and fill the air with smoke, causing Towelie to get more and more high. Once all four are lit, Towelie will be fully high, and the fight will be won.


  • Thermite Bong: Lights nearby enemies on fire, inflicting Burning.
  • Best Attack: Towelie will attempt to use this attack at the end of the battle, but will give in to the marijuana everywhere and become high, canceling the attack.


  • All Status Effects



  • "Hey, you wanna get high? Oh, hey Eric."
  • "Yeah, I did, but now I’m back in South Park. Clean and sober, almost a year. Cleeeean and sober. No drugs at all. And I tell you what: I DON'T MISS IT!"
  • "Yeah, turns out I had a kid the whole time, I was too high to realize it."
  • now, I'm holding down and paying rent. But I'm also doing good, helping people find the herbal remedies they need… to combat the modern stresses of TAXES and TRAFFIC and WIFE BREATHING down my neck about the apartment and “TOWELIE, WE GOT A LEAK. WHY CAN'T YOU FIX IT?” I'M NOT A PLUMBER, BITCH. I'M A TOWEL. NOT A FUCKING PLUMBER!!!”
  • Oh, Classy! Classy with a Y with a clit hanging off it coming around and licking the shit out of the c?
  • Ohh, that Classi! Sure, I got her order!
  • Eh, she… See, she likes the banana kush for her back pain and some of the platinum OG to- wait, what the fuck? WHO PUT THE CHILLAX KUSH IN THE OG MELLOWBLISS?! WHAT THE FUCK, YOU RETARDS?! PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO MIX THEIR MELLOW WITH THEIR CHILL! THEY'LL GET ALL FUCKED UP! GOD, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!
  • No, it's NOT FUCKING COOL! I'm trying to run a legitimate business here and my back hurts, I can't sleep, I have no appetite, this shitty town is so fucked up! We gotta buy all our products from FUCKING SIXTH GRADERS, AND WHO KNOWS WHAT THE SHIT THEY'RE PUTTING IN IT! And then to top it off I got a couple of dick lickers coming into MY STORE telling ME TO FUCKING RELAX! FUCK YOU! YOU RELAX! YOU'RE A TOWEL!


  • Battle start
    • "Budtenders! Get in here! It's time to give these kids a fucking consultation!"
    • "Be careful! There is product everywhere!"
  • Using Thermite Bong
    • "Flame on!"
    • "Good sesh, kids. Good burn."
    • "You like that, you stupid towels?!"
  • First weed pile lit
    • "Shit, now you're lighting my stock on fire?! Sure smells nice, though! God's air freshener!"
  • Second weed pile lit'
    • "Oh shit, quit burning the product! Gotta admit it's some quality bud though!"
  • Third weed pile lit
    • "Oh man. Hah hah. I was hoping you would burn that one too. Make it a real party atmosphere in here."
  • Todd the Budtender defeated
    • "Fuckin' serves you right, Todd, you piece of shit!"
  • End of battle
    • "NOW, FOR MY BEST ATTACK... My... Hey, guys. Oh... hey, how you been Eric? Ah, your a cool guy, man... I'm psyched to see you, man..."
  • Unsorted
    • Towelie: "Jesus, I've seen pussies kick harder than that, Todd! Fuck!"
      Todd the Budtender: "Dude, I don't work out a lot!"
    • "Oh sure, I get fives[sic] minutes for lunch but you can lay down on the fuckin' job. This is bullshit!"